Sue Scheff: What is Inhalant Use?

Inhalant abuse refers to the deliberate inhalation or sniffing of common products found in homes and communities with the purpose of "getting high." Inhalants are easily accessible, legal, everyday products. When used as intended, these products have a useful purpose in our lives and enhance the quality of life, but when intentionally misused, they can be deadly. Inhalant Abuse is a lesser recognized form of substance abuse, but it is no less dangerous. Inhalants are addictive and are considered to be "gateway" drugs because children often progress from inhalants to illegal drug and alcohol abuse. The National Institute on Drug Abuse reports that one in five American teens have used Inhalants to get high.

Inhalation is referred to as huffing, sniffing, dusting or bagging and generally occurs through the nose or mouth. Huffing is when a chemically soaked rag is held to the face or stuffed in the mouth and the substance is inhaled. Sniffing can be done directly from containers, plastic bags, clothing or rags saturated with a substance or from the product directly. With Bagging, substances are sprayed or deposited into a plastic or paper bag and the vapors are inhaled. This method can result in suffocation because a bag is placed over the individual's head, cutting off the supply of oxygen.

Other methods used include placing inhalants on sleeves, collars, or other items of clothing that are sniffed over a period of time. Fumes are discharged into soda cans and inhaled from the can or balloons are filled with nitrous oxide and the vapors are inhaled. Heating volatile substances and inhaling the vapors emitted is another form of inhalation. All of these methods are potentially harmful or deadly. Experts estimate that there are several hundred deaths each year from Inhalant Abuse, although under-reporting is still a problem.

What Products Can be Abused?

There are more than a 1,400 products which are potentially dangerous when inhaled, such as typewriter correction fluid, air conditioning coolant, gasoline, propane, felt tip markers, spray paint, air freshener, butane, cooking spray, paint, and glue. Most are common products that can be found in the home, garage, office, school or as close as the local convenience store. The best advice for consumers is to read the labels before using a product to ensure the proper method is observed. It is also recommended that parents discuss the product labels with their children at age-appropriate times. The following list represents categories of products that are commonly abused.

Click here for a list of abusable products.

http://www.inhalant.org/

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Teen Drug Abuse

If you suspect your teen is doing any form of gateway drug, it's important to talk to them about it as soon as possible. Again, it is important to not yell or threaten. You will no doubt be scared and angry, but so is your teen. If they feel as though you don't support them or they can't talk to you, scaring them will only make the problem worse! Try to remain calm.

Assure your teen they can trust you and that you love them and want to help them. Explain harmful side effects of drugs, but assure them it's not too late to get help, and that you will support them. Tell them about any changes you've noticed in their behavior and how those changes make you feel. Let them talk to you, and listen to them. Do not judge them or criticize them.

The first you need to do in order to prevent your teen from abusing drugs, alcohol or tobacco is to take seriously the threat posed by these substances to your child. You have to take seriously the risks posed because this will ultimately be the one catalyst that will allow you to talk to your teen about the problem in a frank and open manner. By taking to heart the importance of the matter at hand, you will be in a better position to urge your teen to do the same. You do not need to be harsh or judgmental with them.

It is a better strategy to be as supportive as you can. If you insist on being hostile and angry with your teen, you will likely succeed in pushing them away form you and deeper into possible addiction.

Any treatment plan you decide upon for your teen should be dictated by the substances they abuse and how much they abuse them. For example, to send a child to a strict military-style school because they have tried drugs or alcohol a handful of times is something of an overreaction. Many times if a teen’s experiments with drugs, alcohol and tobacco are minor, a good open talk with them can convey all the information you want, and achieve very positive results in terms of future behavior.

Of course, the story is entirely different if your teen has become addicted to drugs and alcohol. In this instance, a detoxification program may be in order, along with a treatment regimen that helps wean the child off of drugs and replaces that with medicine. Studies have shown that the effectiveness of prescription medicine treatment for substance abuse is greatly enhanced when combined with one-on-one and/or family counseling.
One thing to remember if treatment becomes the order for the day when addressing your child’s substance issues is that relapse after treatment is common. This does not mean that you or your teen have failed any part of the recovery process. Addiction is extremely difficult to overcome and the most important thing to keep in mind is to take things one step at a time.For more information about Teen Drug Abuse.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts
Wit's End! Book Information

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff: STD Rates Among Teen Girls

By Connect with Kids

“I wasn’t thinking about my parents, what would they think? I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant, I wasn’t thinking about having AIDS or getting any STDs. I wasn’t thinking about anyone, just what was happening at the moment.”

– Kimberly, 17

The numbers are staggering: 3.2 million teenage girls in America have a sexually transmitted disease (STD). Why are so many young girls infected and what can parents do?

“I didn’t decide to have sex, it just happened,” says Kimberly, 17.

And, the first time Kimberly had sex, she didn’t use protection.

“I wasn’t thinking about my parents, what would they think? I wasn’t thinking about getting pregnant, I wasn’t thinking about having AIDS or getting any STDs. I wasn’t thinking about anyone, just what was happening at the moment,” says Kimberly.

Did she get an STD that first time?

“It was unprotected sex, and I could have anything right now, this is how easy it is to get these diseases,” says Kimberly.

The Centers for Disease Control reports that 1 in 4 teen girls has an STD. Even more startling, half of all African-American teen girls are infected. Experts say in many U.S. households, parents just aren’t teaching their children about the health dangers of sex.

“In the African-American community, I think it’s very hard to talk about issues surrounding HIV, surrounding STDs, surrounding teenage pregnancy. They’re not teaching them how to say no, they’re just teaching them not to do it. They’re not empowering them to stand up for themselves. They’re not giving them any tools. They’re just saying, ‘don’t do it; if you do it this is going to happen,’” says Zina Age, MSW, HIV and STD prevention advocate.

Age says if kids can see a productive future for themselves, they’re more likely to protect that future.

“They don’t have the tools to know that at 16, I don’t get pregnant; that at 16, I go to college or I graduate. They don’t have any role models to show that this actually take place. And that’s the part that’s scary,” says Age.

Kimberly was lucky -- she didn’t have an STD, but she learned a lesson.

“I used to be afraid of telling my boyfriend, ‘can you please put a condom on?’ In the moment, you’re just letting everything flow and it’s stopping everything [to ask] ‘can you go put a condom on?’ It’s kind of hard to do that. But now I actually stop and think about what I’m doing, so I learned a lot about that,” says Kimberly.

Tips for Parents

It's never too late to talk to your child about STDs. After all, a late talk is better than no talk at all. But the best time to start having these discussions is during the preteen or middle school years. (Nemours Foundation)

Questions are a good starting point for a discussion. When kids are curious, they're more open to hearing what their parents have to say. Another way to initiate a discussion is to use a media cue, such as a TV program or an article in the paper, and ask your child what he or she thinks about it. (Nemours Foundation)

Be informed. STDs can be a frightening and confusing subject, so it may help if you read up on STD transmission and prevention. You don't want to add any misinformation, and being familiar with the topic will make you feel more comfortable. (Nemours Foundation)

Ask your child what he or she already knows about STDs and what else your child would like to learn. Remember, though: Your child may already know a lot more than you realize, although much of that information could be incorrect. Parents need to provide accurate information so their kids can make the right decisions and protect themselves. (Nemours Foundation)

The only sure way to remain STD-free is to nothave sex or intimate contact with anyone outside of a committed, monogamous relationship, such as marriage. (Nemours Foundation)

References
Nemours Foundation

Sue Scheff: Teen Runaways - a growing problem for today's families

A Growing Problem for Today's Families

One of any parent's greatest fears is a missing child.

Each year, one million troubled teens from every social class, race and religion run away from home. Unfortunately, for American families, that number continues to rise.

Confused, pressured and highly impressionable teens follow their peers into bad choices. In most cases, runaway teenagers want to escape the rules and regulations of their family and household.

Disagreements with parents leave them unhappy and frustrated to the point of rebellion.

Naiveté leads them to believe they could survive outside the nest; and dreams of a life without parental guidance, rules and punishment seem ideal.

The dangers of a runaway lifestyle are obvious. Afraid and desperate, teens on the street are easy targets for robbery, rape, prostitution, drug addiction and violent crime.

While the official Runaway Hotline cites nine out of ten teens return home or are returned home by the police within a month, any amount of time on the street can change a child forever.

Protecting our children from a potential runaway situation is incredibly important; the problem is serious, and the effects are severe.

My name is Sue Scheff, and through my organization, Parents Universal Resource Experts, I am working to keep America's teens safe. A troubled teenager is a difficult and uphill battle, but you are not alone! As parents, we must work together to educate and support each other through the crisis.

The best resource is that of someone who has been there; and at P.U.R.E, parents can find the information and support of so many dealing with the same situations.


Are you worried that your troubled teen will run away from home? We have compiled some of the most helpful resources on teenage runaways.

Visit our website, Help Your Teens and our Teen Runaway Website. You are not alone!

Sue Scheff - Teen Runaways - What Parents Need to Know

What Parents Need to Know


In the event that your teen runs away from home, the CYH suggests the following strategies for coping and locating your teen:

Try to stay calm. Remember, most runaways return of their own accord.
Find out what you can about your teen leaving. Was it planned or impulsive? Did he or she go off with friends? Did your teen leave a note? What did he or she take with him or her?
Work out whether you think your teen is likely to be safe. Think about where he or she could run to and what you know about why he or she left.

Contact your teen's friends or the friends' parents. If your teen is with friends, let the friends know that you are worried and that you want to talk with your teen about what is upsetting him or her. Don't leave messages that are threats.

Be prepared to make some changes. If no changes are made to make the situation better, your teen will be likely to run again. You may need a third person to "bridge" any conversation in the beginning.

The fact that you are looking for your teen is reassurance that you care. It doesn't mean that you have to give in on everything but that you want to discuss ways to make life better for you all.


Have an open-door attitude to your teen's return.

If you can't find a reasonable explanation for your teen leaving and you can't assure yourself that he or she is safe, contact your local police.



The North American Missing Children Association says that developing a strong foundation of open communication with your child is the key to preventing most runaway cases. Try these tips to improve your relationship with your child:

Pay attention. When your child is talking with you, listen. Don't just nod your head while you're watching television, reading the paper or using your computer. Don't just pretend to listen - kids know the difference.



Give respect. Acknowledge and support your child's struggle to grow to maturity.



Understand. Try to sympathize with what your child is going through. Look at life - at least occasionally - from his or her point of view. Remember that when you were his or her age, your ideas seemed to make sense to you.



Don't lecture. All children hate to be lectured, especially teens. But all kids respond to clear information and direction, most of all when they know that the questions they ask will be answered.



Don't label. The throwing around of useless labels will only confuse the real issues that you wish to address.



Discuss feelings. Talk about what you, as a parent, feel and what you need. Allow your child to talk about his or her feelings, too.



Create responsibility. Give your child choices, not orders. Help him or her to understand the consequences of his or her actions.



Give positive praise. Describe your child's positive and negative behavior and how it affects others. Be specific, and give praise to reward good behavior. Do this at least as often, if not more so, than you criticize behavior that you don't like.
Stop hassling your child. Asking your child too many questions often shuts off information. Give him or her the opportunity to volunteer his or her thoughts and feelings while you show a sincere interest, without probing.



Don't always give the answers. You want your child to be able to find his or her own answers or solutions to problems. You can help by not giving your child the answers all of the time.



Use Teamwork. Work together with your child to evaluate the problems and find a mutually agreeable solution.



Provide support. You must tell your child that you will always love him or her, no matter what.

Find out more - on Teen Runaways

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Parent Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Dropouts Start Early by Connect with Kids

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target.”

– Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District

Before this school year ends, 1 million kids will have dropped out of high school. Conventional wisdom has it that dropping out is an angry and impulsive decision for many kids. But a new study suggests that there is a way to predict who will drop out -- just visit your local kindergarten.

Last year, 7-year-old Derrick was beginning to hate books.

“When he did read, he’d get frustrated and he didn’t want to read,” says Derrick’s mother.

How did he feel?

“Sad,” says Derrick.

Even at this early age, it is a race against time.

“Time is of the essence for children that are falling behind, because every day they fall behind, their peers are moving ahead and so it’s like chasing a moving target,” says Jill Isbell Rhodes of Reading Recovery, Long Beach Unified School District.

Many kids never catch up. A study in the journal, Education Research, reports that you can predict with accuracy who will drop out in high school by looking at how well kids perform in kindergarten.

“If you start school with a negative experience, that’s an experience that’s going to last for the rest of their educational career,” says Danny Darby, education specialist.

The research suggests that dropping out is not an impulsive decision, but an outcome set in motion years earlier.

“The idea here is that as these problems go on and on, and as they are overlooked, children’s personality organization -- their character formation -- begins to be settled, begins to be more entrenched. And the longer you wait, the more that’s the way they become, the harder it is to make change, and the costs are much, much higher,” says Dr. Nathaniel Donson, M.D., child psychiatrist

Experts say early intervention is crucial.

“If you identify it and address it now -- at the preschool level -- it does not exist at the middle school or at the high school level. It won’t exist anymore. But you have to intervene early, and you have to address it as early as possible,” says Robert J. Aloia, superintendent, Bergen Country Technical Schools.

Derrick is now in a special reading program. He says he didn’t used to “feel” like a reader

“But now I do,” says Derrick.

Tips for Parents
Five intervention strategies that have been used to prevent school dropouts among a high-risk population (National Center on Secondary Education and Transition):
Persistence, Continuity and Consistency -- used concurrently to show students that there was someone who was not going to give up on them or allow them to be distracted from school; someone who knew the student and was available to them throughout the school year, the summer, and into the next school year; and providing a common message about the need to stay in school.
Monitoring — the occurrence of risk behaviors (e.g., skipped classes, tardiness, absenteeism, behavioral referrals, suspensions, poor academic performance) was consistently tracked, as were the effects of interventions in response to risk behaviors.
Relationships — a caring relationship between an adult connected to the school and the student was established.
Affiliation — a sense of belonging to school was encouraged through participation in school-related activities.
Problem-Solving Skills — skills students need for solving a variety of problems were taught and supported so students were able to survive in challenging school, home and community environments.
References
National Center on Secondary Education and Transition

Sue Scheff: Preventing Teen Drug Abuse

Preventing Drug Abuse: What Can You Do?

If you suspect your teen is doing any form of gateway drug, it’s important to talk to them about it as soon as possible. Again, it is important to not yell or threaten. You will no doubt be scared and angry, but so is your teen. If they feel as though you don’t support them or they can’t talk to you, scaring them will only make the problem worse! Try to remain calm.

Assure your teen they can trust you and that you love them and want to help them. Explain harmful side effects of drugs, but assure them it’s not too late to get help, and that you will support them. Tell them about any changes you’ve noticed in their behavior and how those changes make you feel. Let them talk to you, and listen to them. Do not judge them or criticize them.

The first you need to do in order to prevent your teen from abusing drugs, alcohol or tobacco is to take seriously the threat posed by these substances to your child. You have to take seriously the risks posed because this will ultimately be the one catalyst that will allow you to talk to your teen about the problem in a frank and open manner. By taking to heart the importance of the matter at hand, you will be in a better position to urge your teen to do the same. You do not need to be harsh or judgmental with them. It is a better strategy to be as supportive as you can. If you insist on being hostile and angry with your teen, you will likely succeed in pushing them away form you and deeper into possible addiction.

Any treatment plan you decide upon for your teen should be dictated by the substances they abuse and how much they abuse them. For example, to send a child to a strict military-style school because they have tried drugs or alcohol a handful of times is something of an overreaction. Many times if a teen’s experiments with drugs, alcohol and tobacco are minor, a good open talk with them can convey all the information you want, and achieve very positive results in terms of future behavior.

Of course, the story is entirely different if your teen has become addicted to drugs and alcohol. In this instance, a detoxification program may be in order, along with a treatment regimen that helps wean the child off of drugs and replaces that with medicine. Studies have shown that the effectiveness of prescription medicine treatment for substance abuse is greatly enhanced when combined with one-on-one and/or family counseling.

One thing to remember if treatment becomes the order for the day when addressing your child’s substance issues is that relapse after treatment is common. This does not mean that you or your teen have failed any part of the recovery process. Addiction is extremely difficult to overcome and the most important thing to keep in mind is to take things one step at a time.

For more information on Teen Drug Use.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Parents Universal Resource Experts (Sue Scheff) Understanding and Preventing Teen Runaways

Knowing the Difference: Runaway, Missing or Sneaking?

When a teen turns up "missing," parents must initially decide whether the child is missing, has run away, or simply sneaked out.

There are differences, and those differences are very important. A missing child could have been abducted by someone against his/her will and is being held, possibly threatened. A missing child can also be a child who is simply missing; the child did not return home when expected and may be lost or injured.

Runaway teens and sneaking teens are often confused, as both leave a supervised environment of their own free will. Sneaking teens leave home for a short period of time, with intent to return, most likely during the night or while a parent can be fooled. A runaway teen leaves home or a supervised environment for good, with intent to live separate from his/her parents. Runaway teens will likely have shown symptoms prior to running away.

In most cases, a teen runs away after a frustrating and heated argument with one or both parents. Often times, the runaway will stay with a friend or relative close by to cool off. In more serious cases, a teen may run away often and leave with no notion of where they are going.

Warning Signs your Teen May Become a Runaway

Attempts to communicate with your teen have only resulted in ongoing arguments, yelling, interruptions, hurtful name- calling, bruised feelings and failure to come to an agreement or compromise.

Your teen has become involved in a network of friends or peers who seem often unsupervised, rebellious, defiant, involved with drugs or alcohol or who practice other alarming social behavior.
A noticeable pattern of irrational, impulsive and emotionally abusive behavior by either parent or teen.

The Grass Looks Greener on the Other Side

Often, we hear our teens use "My friend's parents let her do it!" or, "Everything is better at my friend's house!" The parents of your teen's friends may be more lenient, choose later curfew times, allow co-ed events or give higher allowances. While you as parent know all parents work differently, it can be very difficult for your teen to understand.

Motivations of a Runaway

To avoid an emotional experience or consequence that they are expecting as a result of a parental, sibling, friend or romantic relationship/situation.

To escape a recurring or ongoing painful or difficult experience in their home, school or work life.
To keep from losing privileges to activities, relationships, friendships or any other things considered important or worthwhile.

To be with other people such as friends or relatives who are supportive, encouraging and active in ways they feel are missing from their lives.

To find companionship or activity in places that distract them from other problems they are dealing with.

To change or stop what they are doing or about to do.

As parents or guardians we strive to create positive, loving households in order to raise respectful, successful and happy adults. In order to achieve this, rules must be put in place. Teens who run away from home are often crying for attention. Some teens will attempt to run away just once, after an unusually heated argument or situation in the household, and return shortly after. More serious cases, however, happen with teens in extreme emotional turmoil.

Parents also need to be extremely aware of the symptoms, warning signs and dangers of teenage depression. Far too many teens are suffering from this disease and going untreated. Often, runaways feel they have no other choice but to leave their home, and this is in many cases related to their feelings of sadness, anger and frustration due to depression.

Teenage Depression

There are many causes of depression, and every child, regardless of social status, race, age or gender is at risk. Be aware and be understanding. To an adult juggling family and career, it may seem that a young teenager has nothing to be "depressed" about! Work for a mutual communication between the two of you. The more your teenager can confide his/her daily problems and concerns, the more you can have a positive and helpful interaction before the problems overwhelm them.

by Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

Find about more about Boarding Schools, Military Schools, Christian Boarding Schools, Residential Treatment Centers, and Therapeutic Boarding Schools.

Sue Scheff - Teenage Runaways

By Connect with Kids

"I didn't like it there [home] because it was so strict and [there were] so many rules, and I wanted to do what I wanted to do."
-Abby Stoltz, 16-

Sixteen-year-old Abby Stoltz is just one of the almost half a million teens who run away from home each year.
"I didn't like it there [home] because it was so strict and [there were] so many rules, and I wanted to do what I wanted to do," Abby says.

From the age of 13, Abby's parents repeatedly grounded her for using drugs and staying out past her curfew.

"I felt like … I was so closed in that I didn't have any freedom at all," she says.

The lines of communication between Abby and her parents broke down, and the 16-year-old chose to run away.

"She [my mother] would try to talk to me; I wouldn't open up," Abby says.

According to the National Runaway Switchboard, children cite a feeling that their parents don't love them or that their parents are being too strict as the two most common reasons why they run away. Experts caution that parents need to pay close attention to their children's behavior in order to pick up any warning signs indicating their children may decide to run away from home. If your child experiences a change in friends, a drop in grades or he or she threatens to run away, experts urge you to open up a line of communication.

"The biggest thing is if you're not able to talk to your child, to get somebody who can talk to your child," says Brad Baker, a runaway investigator. "There's church groups, there's school counselors and there's educational consultants. There's plenty of people that you can get in contact with to help you in your situation."

After running away twice, each time for a week, Abby got professional help and got clean. But what may have influenced her to get the help she needed was her grandfather, who passed away.

"He told me to do better and that he knew that I had it in me, and it hurt to hear that because he was gone. And I never proved that to him that I had it in me, so that's what I'm going to do now, cause I know he's up there watching me," she says.


Communication Key to Runaway Prevention
By Kim Ogletree
CWK Network, Inc.

The U.S. Department of Justice estimates that each year, as many as 450,700 missing children are considered to be runaways. The National Runaway Switchboard and the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) cite these additional runaway statistics:

One in seven children between the ages of 10 and 18 will run away.
Some will return within a few days; others remain on the streets never to return.
An estimated 1.3 million youth are on the streets each day.
Assaults, illness or suicide will take the lives of 5,000 runaway youth each year.
The median age for the cycle of running is 14 years old.
Most runaway youths remain away from home between one month and one year.
Females tend to return home sooner than males.
Teens run away for a variety of reasons. According to Child and Youth Health of South Australia (CYH), many teens leave home impulsively after an argument with their caregiver. Often, they don't know how to express their feelings and believe that running away will make their parents "come around." Others run away because they are afraid of punishment or they think their home has too many rules and limits. And still others flee because something seriously wrong is occurring in their lives. Consider these additional, specific reasons why a child might run away from home, cited by the Nemours Foundation:

Significant lack of family communication
Feelings of not belonging or not being good enough
Physical or sexual abuse
Fighting or violence between parents
Problems with parents or blended families (step-parents, step or half-brothers and sisters)
Problems with non-parental living situation (other relatives, foster care or group home)
Parental alcohol or drug use
Kids' alcohol or drug use
Loss of a parent due to divorce or death
Sexuality/teen pregnancy
Parental financial difficulty - ongoing or unexpected
Moving to a new area or school during adolescence
Friend or peer influence
Power of gangs
Before running away, your child's behavior will often give you clues to determine if he or she might consider leaving home. The Covenant House Florida, an organization that helps teens in crisis, cites the following warning signs of a troubled teen on the verge of running away from home:

Extreme mood changes or rebelliousness
Very poor self-esteem
Withdrawal from family and long-term friends and/or new friends of whom parents don't approve
Drop in grades or frequently skipping school
Remarkable change in appearance, such as major weight loss or lack of attention to personal hygiene
Isolation or depression
Lying or stealing
Beginning or increased use of drugs or alcohol
Suicide threats
Violent outbursts
Gang tattoos or paraphernalia
Possession of a weapon



What Parents Need to Know

In the event that your teen runs away from home, the CYH suggests the following strategies for coping and locating your teen:

Try to stay calm. Remember, most runaways return of their own accord.
Find out what you can about your teen leaving. Was it planned or impulsive? Did he or she go off with friends? Did your teen leave a note? What did he or she take with him or her?
Work out whether you think your teen is likely to be safe. Think about where he or she could run to and what you know about why he or she left.
Contact your teen's friends or the friends' parents. If your teen is with friends, let the friends know that you are worried and that you want to talk with your teen about what is upsetting him or her. Don't leave messages that are threats.
Be prepared to make some changes. If no changes are made to make the situation better, your teen will be likely to run again. You may need a third person to "bridge" any conversation in the beginning.
The fact that you are looking for your teen is reassurance that you care. It doesn't mean that you have to give in on everything but that you want to discuss ways to make life better for you all.

Have an open-door attitude to your teen's return.

If you can't find a reasonable explanation for your teen leaving and you can't assure yourself that he or she is safe, contact your local police.

The North American Missing Children Association says that developing a strong foundation of open communication with your child is the key to preventing most runaway cases. Try these tips to improve your relationship with your child:

Pay attention. When your child is talking with you, listen. Don't just nod your head while you're watching television, reading the paper or using your computer. Don't just pretend to listen - kids know the difference.

Give respect. Acknowledge and support your child's struggle to grow to maturity.

Understand. Try to sympathize with what your child is going through. Look at life - at least occasionally - from his or her point of view. Remember that when you were his or her age, your ideas seemed to make sense to you.

Don't lecture. All children hate to be lectured, especially teens. But all kids respond to clear information and direction, most of all when they know that the questions they ask will be answered.

Don't label. The throwing around of useless labels will only confuse the real issues that you wish to address.

Discuss feelings. Talk about what you, as a parent, feel and what you need. Allow your child to talk about his or her feelings, too.

Create responsibility. Give your child choices, not orders. Help him or her to understand the consequences of his or her actions.

Give positive praise. Describe your child's positive and negative behavior and how it affects others. Be specific, and give praise to reward good behavior. Do this at least as often, if not more so, than you criticize behavior that you don't like.
Stop hassling your child. Asking your child too many questions often shuts off information. Give him or her the opportunity to volunteer his or her thoughts and feelings while you show a sincere interest, without probing.

Don't always give the answers. You want your child to be able to find his or her own answers or solutions to problems. You can help by not giving your child the answers all of the time.

Use Teamwork. Work together with your child to evaluate the problems and find a mutually agreeable solution.

Provide support. You must tell your child that you will always love him or her, no matter what.

Sue Scheff: Teen Runaways - Helping Parents

Taking Action: Get Educated Scary Statistics

21% of runaways are victims of domestic physical or sexual abuse at home prior to running away, or are afraid a return home would result in abuse.

19% of runaways are/were dependant on at least one substance.

18% of runaways are 13 years or older.

18% of runaways end up in the company of someone known to be abusing drugs.

17% of runaways end up using hard drugs.

12% of runaways spend time in a place where criminal activity is known to occur.

11% of teens participate in criminal activity while on the run.

4% of runaway teens have attempted suicide previous to running away.

4% of runaways are physically assaulted or the subject of an attempted assault while on the run.

The Power of Knowledge: Work to Be a Better Parent

Even the best parents can use skill training. Continue to improve your skills both as a communicator and a parent, as well as the problems facing teenagers today. Join your family through problem-solving skills to avoid conflict.

Evaluate yourself. Do your bad habits seem to rub off on your teen? Get healthy!

Develop a crisis intervention plan for your teen if the situation causing thoughts of running away involves a crisis or recurrent crisis.

Consider seeking professional help for your teen if he/she seems out of control, including self-harm, suicidal thoughts, or violent behavior. Emotional problems associated with anger, sadness or despair are very serious and should be dealt with accordingly.

Evaluate any use of alcohol or drugs by your teen immediately. Seek professional help if you think he/she may have an addiction problem.

Consider attending classes or educational workshops yourself to improve on your parenting skills. Even the very best parents can use support! Your city may offer training in communication and interpersonal skills that can offer help for dealing with divorce, anger, violent behavior, and conflict resolution.

Develop a plan throughout the family for conducting argumentative communication calmly and respectfully. Doing so will promote communication rather than argument.

For more information on Teen Runaways.

By Sue Scheff, Parents Universal Resource Experts

Do you have a struggling teen? At risk teens? Defiant Teen? Teen Depression? Problem Teen? Difficult Teen? Teen Rage? Teen Anger? Teen Drug Use? Teen Gangs? Teen Runaways? Bipolar? ADD/ADHD? Disrespectful Teen? Out of Control Teen? Peer Pressure?

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